Parents of anxious children, I have a question for you: What if you could make life easier on your kid by making it easier on you? Parents of anxious children are often surprised to learn that their highly sensitive or anxious child may have picked up their issues like a cold at school.
How is this? Just like an infection, it turns out that fear and anxiety is contagious. [Scroll down to keep reading.]
One startled bird scares the flock, one startled dear scares them all. It’s the same way if 3 people run screaming past you in a crowded theater or a mall you will start to want to follow them out of fear.
This reflex has evolved into our neurology to Keep Us Alive by learning from each other to notice threat. This kind of automatic, reflexive modeling is built into every single human serology and it is especially on high alert and functioning as best it can in children.
Why? It’s because so much of who we are comes from learning from our parents and other humans before we even have words to speak or the ability to communicate very well. As adults, we are frequently amused when we see children pick up the mannerisms and quirks and ticks of the adults they’re around, especially their parents. It’s these parts of us that are silently learning exactly how to be like mom and dad, including how to replicate their fears and anxieties.
One of the things that children pick up without having the ability to choose whether to engage in it or not is Stress and Anxiety. The reason this matters so much to sensitive, empathic and anxious children is because their brains are hardwired to feel and perceive what Mom and Dad are feeling and perceiving about the environment.
Our highly evolved survival neurology is learning first from Mom and Dad to be able to understand what is safe in our world and what is not. Things like what foods to eat, how to communicate around people what tone of voice we listen to etc. is very important.
Young children respond positively when their parents are more comfortable and less stressed out. That’s why I recommend to parents that even though their child is clearly more sensitive, empathic, or just plain anxious, one of the best things they could do for their child is to turn off their own Stress and Anxiety with our help.
A parent who is able to calmly and constantly do their job and not come home angry and stressed is a parent who exudes peace and safety to their child’s developing brain.
A child’s misperceptions about themselves and their parents will extend long after Mom and Dad have gotten over the stress of refinancing the house and taking care of their debts. They extend well after completing their extra degree or certificate to get the promotion, or they have gotten the sick child or parent out of the hospital in life back to normal. The young, sensitive child will continue feeling the parents fear and anxiety long after it’s gone, and even well after their parents are dead and gone.
If you turn off your stress, not only will life be easier and better for you, it will make it easier for you to care for your child and your child will generally feel better about life in general.
As adults, we all feel Stress and Anxiety at some point. Everything from just trying to get the kids to school on time to meeting a work deadline to getting through parent-teacher conferences. When as parents we find ourselves complaining that we need much more wine or more time away from the house from the kids, is it good sign that we have enough going on that it is already affecting our children.
A well-meaning, loving and dedicated parent who does not take care of themselves and is stressing every moment about what to do about their child maybe inadvertently and unintentionally making the situation worse. Calm, thoughtful parents make rational decisions and have an easier time connecting with their children. Children of calm rational parents naturally learn how to be more calm and more rational in day-to-day life. A win-win for everyone!
Conclusion for Parents of Anxious Children
Do your child of favor and make your life easier and better. Simply have a few conversations with us to begin dramatically changing your life by taking the threat, fear and stress out of your day today as much as possible. No drugs, no exercises, just a happier you for a better child.
Invitation to Connect and Free Consultations
If you are a parent of anxious children and want support, we can help you. Please use our contact form to reach out. We are professional healers on your side. We will help you do the heavy lifting so you can get on your feet and be standing in your power again. We desire to empower you to do your healing and will support you and your body through the process with gentleness, compassion and love.